PUB QUIZ

Last Tuesday night was trivia night at the Queen's Pub in Kingston, sponsored by Queen's (no relation) University Alma Mater.  I go and play when I can. Sometimes my son shows up, and usually I have Irish Tom on my team. "Irish Tom" is not his real name. He may or may not be Irish. "Tom" may or may not be his first name. All I'm saying is that "Irish Tom" is not what appears on his passport.
Anyway, Irish Tom and I did indeed form half of a team on Tuesday night. I am a big fan of the Habs, and Tom is a faithful supporter of the Maple Leafs. So I suggested that our team name be: "Leafs and Canadiens, Living Together". Tom did not say whether he liked the name or not; he only said that we would have two more people joining us, and that they might want input. I said that that was okay, but let's just go with that for now... "No, no, no!" he protested. "The other players may want a say."
"Do you LIKE the name?" I asked. He was entirely non-committal. He is like that: No praise for a clever name... No pat on the back for humour...
Then he showed me that he had already DECIDED on names. I was to be "Greg (No Pencil) Millage". The "no pencil" remark dates back an entire year and refers to the fact that I have been (in the past) a little hasty with my answers, and a little closed-minded about accepting input from others. His name suggestion for me is his way of telling me to let go of the control over team answers. Fair enough. The misspelling of my last name, however, was sheer carelessness.
His name was to be "July, 1969". That was a rather cruel dig concerning that aforementioned incident from one year ago. Something regarding the month and year of the first moon walk. I keep telling him that I had misunderstood the question, and my "June, 1969" answer would have been correct had "first moon walk" been a reference to Michael Jackson, and not to Neil Armstrong. Both men, by the way, advancing civilization while living on another planet.
So the two additional team members join us and the woman says: "What's our team name?" I tell her my idea and she thinks that it's great and she writes it down. I look significantly at Tom but say nothing. He fails to meet my eyes. She turns out to also be a Leaf fan. (They are EVERYWHERE.) Our fourth player is a guy and I ask him what his team is. You know... you do not meet many fans of Buffalo in Kingston. On my suggestion we change the name to "Leafs and Canadiens, Living Together, Brandishing Sabres".
We come second out of twelve teams in the first round. We miss winning by one point. We come second again in the second round. For the third round our name changes to: "Leafs and Canadiens, Living Together, Brandishing Sabres: The Bridesmaids." Our name is getting so long that when they announce our score in the third round (second place again) the Quizmaster (well, Quizmistress, actually) reduces us to "The B.M.'s". And so heading into the fourth, and final, and hardest, round (Name That Tune) our self esteem has been, collectively, diminished as only a moniker referring to poop can doo.