OUR FIRST NUPTUALS

When Margot and I went cruising in the Bahamas a couple of years ago we were engaged to be married. We had gotten engaged at Christmas. Margot received a coupon, rolled up in a tube, that entitled her to one engagement ring of her choice and design. I knew that I could not choose a ring for her. I knew that she would rather design her own. The coupon came with "some restrictions may apply": Not valid in the Province of Quebec (where her ex-partner lived), must be of legal drinking age (otherwise how do I get her drunk and take advantage of her?), and with a one-year expiry.

So that February saw us aboard the U.S.S. Liberty Something Or Other, sailing out of Nassau and heading east towards Eleuthra with eight other, fellow passengers, and ten crew. One other couple on board were engaged, as well, and when Captain Dan found out that he had TWO engaged couples, he informed us that he had recently obtained his minister's licence (from a very reputable on-line church) and that it might be a nice idea to have a double wedding, at sunset, on a nice beach. Margot and I thought: "Perfect!!" and began discussing plans. When we tried sharing our planning ideas with Couple Number Two, we discovered that they were less excited about the idea. He told me that they both were not the kinds of people who enjoyed being in the spotlight. I said to him that I understood, and then I turned to Margot and whispered: "I don't understand". The spotlight has never been something that I have shied away from...

Captain Dan is very funky. His Captain's uniform was usually barefoot, Hawaiian shirt, baseball cap, and what seemed to me to be love beads from the sixties. Margot will tell you that he was more hunky than funky, and she still has a soft spot in her heart for him. He was wonderful about the wedding. He spent days composing a special wedding ceremony for us. Each crew member had a role to play. One young woman wove rings for us out of twine. Another created a play list of music from her laptop. A cake was baked. Champagne bottles were placed on ice, and the second mate revealed that he had a special knack for opening corks using  a ceremonial sword. I chose a best man and Margot a maid of honour from amongst the passengers. Margot asked the cook's assistant (and cruise company vice-president) to give her away. He told Margot that he was from New England and had never given ANYTHING away in his life. But he took on the role. He took on the role so seriously that he felt duty-bound to have a very serious conversation with me (the groom) regarding my worthiness. I must have squeaked through somehow because he gave me his blessing.

We were married on the last day of the journey. We were anchored just off Rose Island and the weather was perfect. The sun sets at around 6:00 down there and so by 5:00 the groom's party (best man and me) were Zodiacking to the beach. My guy was Jewish so he had to immediately scratch out an Chuppa in the sand and then go in search of something suitable for the Matzel-Tov. He found an empty, plastic Pepsi bottle. Margot and her maid of honour arrived at 5:30. Captain Dan had ordered all crew and passengers to attend. That meant that even JoBar was there. JoBar was the engineer and he was a little rough around the edges and we were very pleasantly surprised to see him all (somewhat) dressed up. I wore my very best tee-shirt, the one that says: "Jesus is coming, Look Busy". Margot and I had each written our own vows. Margot's were very moving and she had trouble saying them through her tears. Mine were (predictably) more light-hearted. Norah Jones sang "Come Away With Me". The sunset was glorious. When Captain Dan asked the assembled whether or not anyone present would support Margot and Greg in their union, everyone answered "AAAAAARRGGHHHHH!!!" like a chorus of pirates. It was great!!

The wedding was not legal, of course, for there was no licence. The real wedding was still in the works and planned for the summer after the next, in August of 2011. But we had photos and we had our rings (that we both still wear) and we obtained a ceremonial copy, signed by Captain Dan himself, of the ceremony for display at the real do. Best of all, perhaps, we had some experience with planning a wedding, or a series of weddings, that might be fun and unusual and romantic, all at the same time.