JUDGE BRICK

The Friday night wedding (the REAL wedding) was to take place at Boldt Castle. That's in New York State. We needed to find an officiant. In New York State people use judges if they do not wish for a church wedding. We asked the Town of Alexandria Bay for a few recommendations, and I called and left messages with three or four. Judge Calvin Brick was amongst those who replied. I liked the sound of his voice. He SOUNDED like a very nice person. And I REALLY liked his name. Very solid: Calvin BRICK. Probably not Catholic. "The guy pronounces marriages that last." And you KNOW what his bathroom is called...

So I called him back and told him that we were interested. Again I was leaving a message. I told him a thing or two about our plans. By now I had put an answering machine message on our phone that suggested that we had reached the limit of how many guests we could invite to "The Wedding of the Summer", and further suggested that we were really tired of hearing from "Liz Windsor"--- that, "No, she could NOT come to the wedding, and furthermore, we KNEW who she REALLY was... we had traced her calls to a phone booth near Buckingham Palace".

This message revealed to me that very few people in Canada seem to know that our Queen's real name is Windsor. "The House of Windsor". Until W.W.One the family name had been Saxe-Cobourg and Gotha, but it had been decided that that was just a little too German sounding, so it was changed to something a little more English. Elizabeth Windsor was the name she used when she served in the army in W.W.Two. Even lesser known fact: Her two favourite corgis were originally called Blitzkrieg and Wolfslair. In 1939 they were re-named... and Banzai and Samurai each lived ten more years. True story.

Banzai, Liz, and Samurai

ANYWAY... Judge Brick returned my call and this time I was home and we spoke for the first time. He sounded worried. "We have a problem." "What!?" I asked. "The Queen. She just called me. She's pissed. She really wants to come to the wedding. I have to call her back. What am I going to say?"

By this time I knew that he was the perfect choice for our wedding. I told him: "The problem is... We were not invited to HER little wedding in the spring... Kate and Will."

"You weren't there?" he said. "Don't worry. You really didn't miss much. I was disappointed, frankly."

"What was wrong?"

"Well.. What wasn't wrong? I mean, the hors d'oeuvres?"

"Costco?" I said.

"Yes. You don't expect that from the Queen, do you?"

No you don't.

..said the actress to the bishop...

One morning a little old lady approached me and told me that the ladies' room was in need of toilet paper. This happened at the back of our sister restaurant, so this dilemma was not MY responsibility. But I knew that I had to inform someone. So I went to Ken and told him: "When I was checking out my web cam this morning, I noticed that the ladies' room needs toilet paper in stall one."

...SAID THE ACTRESS TO THE BISHOP...

A customer had just received his burger. He hadn't even tried it yet, and he was asking me to bring him ketchup. I asked him to taste the burger first. He insisted on the ketchup, so I brought it to him.

Later that day... I asked him how his burger was. he told me that it was very good, but that he probably should have listened to me about the ketchup. So I said:

"Heinz sight is 57."
(This is not mine. Michelle at Les Chats Orange says she came up with that one in her sleep. So she is funnier fast asleep than most of us are wide awake.)

...SAID THE ACTRESS TO THE BISHOP.

Bruce Cockburn came in by himself to the restaurant one night and I got to serve him. At one point he said:

"Greg," (because we were on that sort of casual basis... he called me Greg and I called him Mr. Cockburn) "Where does the chicken come from?" The chicken on the menu came from Lyons Farm, and I told him that.

"Lyons Farm? Where is that?"

Bruce Cockburn

So I got to go to the guys in the kitchen and tell them: "The guy at table ten is Wondering Where the Lyons Are."

THE ACADEMY AWARDS

We went to see The Artist  last night at The Screening Room. For me, the charm and the pleasure of going to see a movie there is roughly fifty per cent the movie itself, and fifty per cent the whole experience of being at that theatre. The remaining twenty-five per cent would be the coffee. Or the price of the coffee ($1.50!!). Or, to be exact, the organic, wildflower flavoured honey that can go into your coffee, should you choose. Served in a ceramic mug, no less. That's so quaint. Quaint in a really good way. And Wendy is SO nice! And all of her staff. 

And the movie, you ask? We enjoyed it. It was very entertaining. Very ballsy to create a silent movie, to be sure. The acting was wonderful. Nice to see John Goodman. The dog was perfect. The story was clever, I guess, and told well. But... NOT the movie of the year, surely.



The movie of the year, in my opinion, and I just KNOW that you care, would be Take Shelter.  A perfect movie in every way. Not one false move. If you ignore the bizarre ending... perfect. The acting. The script. The subtle and nuanced characterizations... 

After Take Shelter  I would choose, in a tie for second place, Moneyball,  and Rango. After those three I would group The Help, and Hugo, and The Tree of Life. Best actor? Could Johnny Depp win for an animated movie? No? Then how about Brad Pitt for both of his roles. I did not see Maryl Streep as Thatcher but can only guess that she fully deserved to win.









OUR NUMBERS ARE UP!!

Did you notice that our number of "Followers" had increased by 100% over the past week or so? We have gone from ONE, to TWO... and the new followers are even proud to identify themselves!! Our "Membership Drive" is showing large results. Also notice that the number of visits to this blog is approaching 500. We will have to do something special for visitor number 500.

ANIMAL TESTING

Yesterday I bought some Pet Stain Remover product because we have two cats and they are not always polite regarding their bodily expulsions. I was reading the information and I noticed the message: Not tested on animals. That led me to ask myself: Why not? Did they run out of time? Out of pets to try it out on? And I realized that we had two cats, which number is about one too many, some times, and so maybe I could do some of that testing. So I took the spray and I hunted down Lance. (Lance is the only cat that I know of who has an aboriginal name to go along with his birth name: "Leaks From Bum".)  Flash is younger and I thought that he had more time left to enjoy himself. So I held the can of Pet Stain Remover and I sprayed the back end of Lance and he completely disappeared! I have no idea what happened. He did not COMPLETELY disappear, as there was left, on the carpet, a little stain. And I thought: That's ironic! Anyway... be careful out there. If you LIKE your pets, be careful.